margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
