He is such a slut. More and more my type.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
