help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
