i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
