I'm lost and stupid without you.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
