Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
its not stalking. its research.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
