im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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