Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
