he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
