Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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