i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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