every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
