i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
