yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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