When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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