Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
