Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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