can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
