The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
