I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize