Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
