Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We are two peas in an std pod
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
