I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
