Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
