When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
