You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
