Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
