from now on my penis is your penis
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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