I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
