New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
