i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
