Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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