I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
