I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
