The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
