Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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