I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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