I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
