you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
