I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
