How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
