Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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