I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
