What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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