...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
