I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
