It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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