you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
