i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
