how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
