just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize