Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I love having hate sex.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
