I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
did i walk over a car last night?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
