He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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