dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
