Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back

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(404): View more from Georgia

Are you still at the party or did I leave?

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(937): View more from Ohio

I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.

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(217): View more from Illinois

do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

they paper machayed me.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

May the one with the liver that just won't quit win

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(315): View more from New York

is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.

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