I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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