i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
