Your tits are I can't wait for
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
