I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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