its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
