Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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